Chapter 6: Election: November 8, 2008

On the night of November 3rd, 2008 an emergency service bulletin was sent to election tech supervisors in seventeen key states. The three leading vendors of electronic voting machines each reported a software vulnerability in their machines. They supplied a software patch to deal with the problem.

Fewer than 40% of the targeted voting machines were updated in time for the election.

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President-elect Richard Cheney was gracious in his victory speech.

 “My f… fellow patriotic Americans, I am f… humbled by your trust. I know that our Lord God has called on me through the electoral process to lead this great nation toward safety and order and prosperity. I trust in the Lord that I might f… lead as He ordains.

“There are those malcontents on the left who cry f… foul and long for a return to the rancorous disputes of the 2000 election process. I say to them that the politics of electoral litigiousness is over.

“No serious person can disagree that the world is a dangerous place. It has become even more dangerous since 9/11 and 7/4 despite the heroic efforts of our troops.

“Trust me. Distrust those who distrust me."

He pledged to do everything in his power to reduce the unfortunate political rancor that divided the country. He pointed to Vice President-elect Lieberman as his first step toward reconciliation between red and blue. He stated forcefully that while the US combated the menace of global terrorism there was no room for domestic unrest.

Cheney’s victory surprised a world which had watched his polling number languish in the low 40’s through the last days of the campaign.

Electronic voting critics pointed out that ballot returns in a substantial number of counties skewed toward Cheney with statistical improbability. But because voting machines in those counties came from three different vendors it was judged unlikely that tampering had occurred - except by a few Internet cranks.

Democrats lost nine Senate seats, but retained the ability to filibuster. Republicans regained control of the House by a slim majority.

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When Vice President Richard “Dick” Cheney won the presidency Johnny Talbot nearly burst with pride and hope.

The Republican Party of Kansas said in the award letter, ”Johnny Talbot’s salesmanship for Cheney swayed votes in the right direction. We honor his diligent work by awarding him an all expense-paid trip to Washington D.C. to attend the Inauguration.”

Johnny was horrified that the Phelps terrorist came so close to killing his man. He had to laugh at Cheney’s salty retort and felt a twinge of guilt.

Johnny knew what to expect in D.C. He’d read descriptions on Free Republic. The city of Washington was a cesspool, unable to govern itself, burdened with a citizenry debilitated by socialist welfare handouts and mired in a culture of victimhood and gun control.

That would soon end. Cheney would fight with all his guts to create a conservative utopia. Everyone would have to work. Everyone would have to take responsibility.

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Johnny’s dad, Ralph, worked at a paint factory. Johnny was proud of his hard-working father and sometimes even forgave him his Democratic Party membership.

In mid-November Johnny answered a call from the factory: A spill. A ruptured solvent vat. Your father is fine. A few days off and he'll be ready to return to work. His skin will be a bit sensitive for a few days but he'll heal good as new. He's at the hospital for observation but the doctor assures us you can take him home tonight.

Johnny and his Mom and his sis rushed to the hospital. His father wasn't fine. The caustic liquid had soaked one of his forearms and both legs. The skin was red and wrinkled and plastic-looking. Ralph, a quiet man, smiled and nodded vaguely through his painkillers.

The doctor showed them how to keep the skin clean and gave them a bottle of pills and a wheelchair and sent them home.

Johnny wheeled his father into the master bedroom and helped him into bed. The first few days were rough for Ralph - he couldn't sleep - and rough for the family. When mother called the hospital for advice they upped the painkiller prescription which helped, but after the first week it became clear that it would be more than a few days until he would return to the paint factory.

June Talbot, Johnny's mom, refused at first to fill out her husband's application for Social Security Disability but when the fourth weekly payday slipped by without a check she choked down her hatred of socialistic government paternalism.

Johnny took an after school job mopping the 2nd Bank’s marble floors. Mr. Green, Head Janitor at the bank, nicknamed Johnny Free D.C.

Johnny was ashamed that he couldn’t earn enough to get his father off the government dole.

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